


This Isn't You

by KHKeybladeMaster



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Community: kingdomhearts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kingdom Hearts AU, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-10-21 00:36:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10674048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KHKeybladeMaster/pseuds/KHKeybladeMaster
Summary: "Shut up Ven, I'm done arguing. I'm sick of you and Sora treating me like a kid.. and I sure as hell am sick of you guys always blaming me when things go bad." I never regretted saying those words as much as I do right now, and now I'm sitting here on the side of a road... Wondering what the hell I've done to get myself in such a shitty situation. I, Roxas Hikari, am a dumbass.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone!!! So this is my first story up on Archive, and it's actually a repost of a story I wrote for Fanfiction.net! I decided I'd bring it over here to see what everyone here thinks of it. I hope you guys will come to love this story!!  
> With that being said, let's begin!

"Ven, drop it already, What the hell are you even pissed about anyway?!" I ask, slightly annoyed by how persistent my brother is being. He's literally been lecturing me for the past 20 minutes and it has succeeded in making me want to jump out of my bedroom window. Lecturing me for what you might ask? I have absolutely no Idea! He's been like this with me for over a year now, and I'm so close to reaching my breaking point.

"No, I won't drop it Roxas. What the hell is going on with you?" Ven asks me, his voice is an octave higher than it normally was. He gives me a stern, yet expectant look as he stands in front of me with his arms crossed.

I'm trying my best to ignore him by slipping my ear buds in and raising the volume, hoping the music will cancel out any noise around me. It works for a few minutes, I'm not able to hear anything in the outside realm... including Ven's Temper tantrum. To top it off, it also succeeds in making my brother about as red as a tomato. Ven is beyond pissed right now and its kind of funny to me, In fact, I actually start smiling. I'm pretty sure the huge smile on my face pisses him off even more, because I can see steam coming off of Ven and he's got this expression on his face that says "Hey, I'm definitely fed up with your attitude" and "This isn't a Joke Roxas". Heh, he's too easy to read... Bring it Ven! You're not gonna make me crack anytime soon!... I look away from him and stare down at my hands; Oh hey! Looks like I'm pretty pissed too...didn't even notice my fists were tightly clenched. My thoughts were focused on my hands for the most part, until the moment I feel my headphones being yanked out of my ears as Ven snatches my I-pod. Don't mess with a mans music man... I have officially reached my breaking point: Ventus, You're dead!

"What the hell Ven, give it back!" I yell, Narrowing my eyes at him. No more nice "Bro" Roxas.

"No! Not until you tell me what's wrong with you, It's like you're not even Roxas anymore," He says and there's a hint of pain lacing the tone in his voice, and it almost makes me feel bad... Except he fucked with my I-pod, so no mercy!

"How the hell would you even know who I am or how I act huh?, You didn't give a shit before... so what makes now so different?" I knew that wasn't entirely true, but I was mad and it just flew out of my mouth.

"Of course I gave a shit before Roxas, and I still do. Stop trying to make me look like the bad guy. You always do this! For crying out loud man, you're my little brot-" I cut him off before he can finish his sentence. I know you guys are beyond confused right now, but I promise once this is all over I'll explain.

"Shut up Ven, I'm done arguing. I'm sick of you and Sora treating me like this fragile ass kid. I'm sick of you guys always blaming me whenever things go wrong, and I'm sick of you guys acting like you actually care about me. Spare me the "You're my little brother, I care about you" speech because I know it's just an act." I say before snatching my I-pod and headphones from him and throwing it in my book bag. I walk over to my dresser and start rummaging through the drawers, pulling out random articles of clothing and shoving them in the bag. The last thing I grab is my X- shaped necklace before I attempt to make my way out of my room.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asks sternly, grabbing my arm tightly. I spin around and pry his fingers off of my arm before I push him away from me and walk out of my room. " HEY! ROXAS! I asked you a question!" he yells as he attempts to make his way towards me.

"Don't care man, it's none of your business anyway" I say as I'm walking down the hall. I can hear him following me so I quicken my pace and try to get a little further away from him.

"Roxas? Hey, Roxas... Wait what the hell is going on?! Hey... where are you going?" Sora asks as he slowly comes out of his room, stopping in between his room doorway and the hall. I turn to face him, and what I see makes me feel really guilty. He looks so lost and concerned, and it kinda stings seeing him like that.

_We used to never want to hurt each other... Now I'm doing just that._

"Roxas? Hey! Roxas! Are you listening to me?" Sora asks with a voice tinged with worry. I look away from him and proceed down the staircase leading to the front door. He's following close behind me as I'm walking down our steps. Just as I'm about to take the last step, I feel his hand grip my shoulder to hold me back, but I pull his hand off and keep walking.

"Rox-" I hear him say from behind me, and I know he's given up on trying to follow me. One thing I am grateful for is that when I glanced back at them, Sora had held Ven back from going after me. I don't know what his intention for that was, but I am grateful. That was the last thing I saw as I started running down the street, allowing the distance between my former life and I to become greater.

"Roxas!" I hear them yelling a few times before the yelling completely stops.

"I can do this on my own," I say to myself as I'm running. But what I said and what's currently in my mind are two completely different things.

_How did we get like this?_


	2. Chapter Two

Okay so you guys have already witnessed one of the worst moments of my life and you barely know who I am, so before I let you guys continue following my around. I feel like I should properly introduce myself.

My name is Roxas Hikari. I'm a 17-year-old guy living with my two older brothers, Ventus (Ven for short) and Sora. The three of us currently reside on the most beautiful place ever known to existence: Destiny Islands. Destiny Islands is home to the most beautiful beaches ever known to man, the water is the clearest and most beautiful blue, and its surface glistens in the sunlight like there are tiny diamonds floating on it. Pretty much everything on this Island is perfect, with exception of the people who live here... and yes I was referring to me and my family.

Don't get me wrong, no one's family is ever really "Perfect." Each has their own set of issues that fuels its members rivalries, or things that make them grow apart. But if I'm being quite honest I think ours is the most fucked up.

How? Well I'll tell you!

Our parents were killed in a cross fire between two rival gangs who decided it'd be a great Idea to start something right in the middle of the street. No one really knows how or why the fight actually started, (although it might have been a territory thing). Our parents were unfortunate enough to be caught in the middle of it, and as such were pronounced dead at the scene. After their death my brother Ventus became the one me and Sora leaned on the most. With occasional help from our aunt and uncle, Ven was able to keep me and Sora living without too much struggle. Me and my brothers gradually became closer as time went on. We looked out for each other more, always hung out together or helped each other whenever we needed it. We were becoming somewhat like a family again after our parents death. You know how life is though. It throws in situations that can seem impossible, just to test your limits and the limits of those around you... and unfortunately we failed those tests pretty bad.

Anyway, at this point I completely regret walking out of my ex-home like that. Not because I think I'm wrong and want to apologize to Ven ( I'd rather die than apologize to that prick I called my brother), but because I failed to think of where exactly to go next. So now I'm currently wandering the streets with my headphones in my ears as I try so hard not to freak out, and using all of my brain power to think of any possible solution (other than returning home).

I must have been thinking just a little too hard though, because one minute I'm walking, and the next I'm on the ground. I figure I must have bumped into someone and fallen, but as far as I knew no one was walking in front of me a second ago? My assumption of bumping into someone seems to be true though, as I can currently feel someone staring holes into my head. I don't look up at who ever or what ever It is that I bumped into. I just stand up, dust myself off and keep walking.

Don't notice me

Don't notice me

"Hey!," I hear someone call out.

Shit.

I try to ignore the voice and keep on walking, but I can sense that this person is following me and has no intention of letting this go. Next thing I know, mystery person places a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

Now if there's one thing I hate more than people trying to control me, it's people I don't know or like touching me.

I spin around and punch the person in the gut, not bothering to look at their face. It's a bold move and this may make the situation worse than it actually is, but I can't show weakness either.

"Oomph... Hey what the hell was that for?!" The person asks, their voice deep and filled with anger and confusion.

"Don't touch me" I spit out as I give him a look that could pierce through just about anything. Who does this guy think he is anyway?

"Hey you could at least apologize man, you bumped into me" he says

"And you followed me," I say, spinning around and starting to walk away. "If you're looking for an apology it's not going to happen, you lost that chance the minute you put your hand on me," I say as I'm trying to put more distance between me and this person.

"Jeez kid, that's some attitude you got there" the man said, exasperated.

I turn around and glare at the man, whose flaming red hair seems to defy gravity. There's something familiar about this man though now that I think about it. Have I met him somewhere before?... Wait hold up, did he just call me kid?!

"Don't call me a kid"

"Err... okay Blondie! By the way, the name's Axel! Got it memorized?" he says.

"I couldn't care less what your name is dude, and don't call me Blondie either."

"Fine I won't. Mind if I call ya Roxie then?"

Wait.

What?

Does this asshole actually know my name?

"How did yo-" before I can even finish my question, he's already gone.

It's only been a few hours and already I seem to have inserted myself into some weird situation

Good job Roxy, Good job.

No matter how hard I try I can't seem to forget that little encounter out of my head. I've tried for the past hour and absolutely nothing has worked at all, and I'm starting to wonder if all of this could have been avoided if I had just stayed home.

_No._

_You don't need to be home Roxas._

_You can do this on your own._

With those thoughts echoing in my mind, I suddenly think of at least one way to make everything better... even if just for a little while.

I call up my dealer and ask him to hook me up with a couple blunts already rolled ( I don't have time to roll them myself). He says I don't have to pay, which makes this night seem a little better already. So I tell him to meet me over on Palm avenue in an alley behind this closed down liquor store.

"Hey, what's up man," I say, pulling him into a manly hug before continuing to speak.

"Nothing much man. Oh hey, I got your shit" he says before pulling two perfectly rolled blunts out of his pocket and handing them to me." This shit is gonna get you high off your ass bro" he says, chuckling.

"Ah thanks man, I owe you one. Shit just isn't going well for me now, so I don't know if I can pay you back for this anytime soon"

"Don't worry about it man, I understand. Hey I gotta go, but call me if you wanna chill or if you need something else" he says. There's a worried look in his eyes, and I can see that he wants me to tell him what's going on, but he knows I'll tell him when I feel like talking about it.

"Thanks Demyx, I appreciate it"

"Oh hey, you got a lighter?" I ask. He nods and pulls the lighter out of his pocket and hands it to me. I put one of the blunts in my mouth and light the tip before taking a huge puff and blowing out a cloud of smoke. I hand him the lighter again, he grabs it and pats me on the back before running off into the darkness that's blanketing the Islands now. The only light is the shine of the moon and twinkle of the stars, and I find myself walking to a Park bench and laying down, smoking the blunt as I look up at the sky and allow my mind to slowly unwind.

I take a few more puffs and start humming a song I remember hearing on the radio. I'm starting to feel a little higher and higher every minute that passes, and the slightly cool breeze blowing now makes this high feel so much better. I can feel all my worries disappearing and I'm feeling ten times happier than I was before. It's a temporary happiness of course, one that I know will be gone as soon as I come down from this.

_But even if it's temporary I'll take it... Because in the end, it's the only kind of happiness I've ever known_

_What am I going to do now?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for this chapter XD I wrote it a long time ago and I have not yet had the chance to go back and edit it.

**Chapter 3:**

It's been about a week now since I ran away from home. I haven't showered properly (but I have bathed in the ocean at night), my clothes smell like garbage and sewer, I'm hungry as hell, and I'm broke. It's a miserable life being homeless but I'm doing my best to survive. Two days ago I stole an apple from the grocery store, and I've actually resorted to eating some scraps left in a dumpster behind a restaurant last night, It sounds nasty..but you do what you have to when you need food in your system. Except for food being a lot harder to come across, life I guess hasn't been too bad (I'm lying to myself... it's terrible)

I woke up today on a park bench near Paopu Boulevard, a street full of shops and restaurants lining down the coast of the main island, the beach is literally across the street from all the businesses. Anyway, so I woke up at this specific park (I can't remember the name) and decide I'd take a stroll down the boulevard to enjoy the smell of the sea and just take in the beauty of the island to get my mind off of things. So I'm walking down the Boulevard and just breathing in the fresh air, allowing the warmth of the sun to comfort me and release me of my worries. It's been such a long time since I've felt this relaxed, and I forgot just how good it felt. The feeling lasts for about 10 more minutes before I see a familiar Blondie and redhead also taking a stroll... in my direction.

The Auburn haired girl is Kairi, my brother Sora's girlfriend and one of my best friends. She's a pretty cool girl if you ask me... She's funny, sweet, and beyond caring to anyone she meets. Her eyes are a beautiful blue, one resembling the water surrounding our islands, and it's so easy to get lost in them. She's a small girl but her temper is through the freakin roof!The girl could knock you on your ass in a second if you messed with her enough times.

The blonde is Naminé, my ex girlfriend and my brother Ven's current one. I'm not explaining that situation, but I can tell you that it's ONE of the MANY reasons I hate him. Anyway, Naminé is this small, cute little blonde with eyes that are almost identical to Kairi's. Every time I looked at her I was in a trance, her eyes always held an innocence to them, or at least... that's what I always thought. Naminé is a shy girl (well she was when I was dating her) not as outgoing as Kairi, but she's cool people. She has a way of always being able to pick up on peoples changes in mood, even before they realize it themselves... It was always easy for anyone to come to her with any problems because she understood right away... I miss her...

Anyway... so I see them walking in my direction and I can't help but panic.

_I can't let them see me._

_I look like shit! What if they ask me too many questions?_

_What the hell am i going to do?_

I did the first thing that came to mind... I took my shirt off and ran across the beach before full on diving into the water.

Was that a stupid way of avoiding them?: Yes

Am I an idiot?: Yes

Did they see me?: But of course, they did.

They even did me the favor of walking over to me and starting a conversation while I was in the water.

"Roxas! over here! I know you can hear us!" Kairi yells out from the shoreline

"Don't make us go in after you!" Naminé yells.

I see Kairi and Naminé putting down their valuables and taking off their shoes before they start sprinting into the water. Fuck.

The two girls are gliding through the water with no effort at all, and within 2 minutes are right beside me.

"Why'd you run away from us?" Kairi asks

"I didn't run" I say nonchalantly

"Yeah you did" Naminé says

"What does it matter anyway?" I spit out. It's been less than a minute and they've already succeeded in annoying the crap out of me.

"We need to talk to you, but not here. Why don't we head back and go out lunch?" Kairi suggests

"Fine," I say before swimming back with them to the shore. I can't deny a free meal!

Once we're back on shore, the girls grab their stuff and I follow them to Destiny Diner, a restaurant not too far off from the beach. We go inside and are led to a table towards the back of the place, next to a window. The waitress hands us menus and walks away.

"So listen, Roxas... I know we aren't exactly on speaking terms because of the "catching me with your brother situation" but I want you to know that I really am sorry... I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. It was a really stupid mistake to make, and I know it isn't exactly something that can be forgiven so easily, but I'm deeply and sincerely sorry. I ruined our anniversary and I feel really bad," Naminé says, her eyes burning holes into the table.

I scoff. "Can't even look at me when you're apologizing?"

"Sit," she says. I don't bother arguing with her.

The waitress walks over to our table and asks if we're ready to order. Kairi orders all three of us a burger, fries, and sodas. She writes the order down, smiles, then walks away again.

"You need to at least try to be friends with Naminé again. You both used to be so close to each other. I know what she did was wrong, and I know that you're still kind of pissed at both Nami Annnd your brother... But don't you think that maybe if you try forgiving her, everything else will fall into place? Besides, she's owning up to her mistakes and asking for your forgiveness in person. I think that deserves some consideration in your decision at least,"Kairi says, staring at me with sympathy clouding her eyes . I look away from her, then at Naminé. Her eyes have a hint of sadness in them, and it takes all my will power to ignore it.

"One day we'll be friends again... One day I'll be able to forgive her for what she did, but I don't think today is that day. The memory is still too fresh in my mind for me to just forgive and forget. Its gonna take me a little while longer to get over it. I hope you both understand that" I say, looking out the window as the waves slowly creep onto the shore, and the palm trees sway with the light breeze.

"I understand," Naminé sighs. I look at her for a second and I feel bad for saying that, but I mean... She slept with my brother. Any one in my situation would be the same way. Right?

I'm pretty much lost in my own thoughts when Kairi throws me off with her next question.

"Thats understandable. I'm glad you're being mature about it though... Now I have one other question for you: Why'd you leave?" Kairi asks. Her question makes me give her a look of confusion, and shock. How the hell did she know I left home?!

"Excuse me?" I manage to say.

"Why'd you run away from home? Did things really get that bad?" She asks, her face wearing an expression of sadness, Identical to Namine's.

"Who told you I left? Never mind that was a stupid question. Sora did, didn't he?"

"Err... he may have said a few things. But I think it'd be best if you heard from him yourself" Kairi says.

_Wait...What?_

"Errr..Kairi? what are you talking about?"

"I invited him and Ven. They should be here any minute actually," she says, looking at the front entrance of the Diner.

By now I feel like the biggest idiot on earth. I pretty much walked right into this trap (No one ever offers a free lunch unless there's a hidden agenda attached to it.) Anyway, I jump out of my seat and make a run for the door, bumping the waitress carrying our food and causing her to drop it.

"Sorry!" I call out as I'm sprinting out the door. Of course my escape is once again ruined when I knock over two people about to walk into the Diner.

"Damn it. Sorry about that," I say as I'm pushing myself up from the ground.

"Ah don't worry about it,"  _Hey that voice sounds familiar..._

I look up at the two people hovering over me and I see the two people I was trying to avoid: My brothers.

"R-Roxas?" Sora stutters

"I'm sorry have we met before?" I ask sarcastically

"Aww come on Roxas. Stop acting like you don't know its us" Ven says. He sounds kind of annoyed.

I roll my eyes and start speed walking away, only to be grabbed by the arm yet again.

Did I mention how much I reaaaaally hate when people do that?

I turn around and punch which ever brother of mine that it was who grabbed me ( Thank god it was Ven, I've been wanting to punch him again) and I start running like hell. I'm basically try to put as much distance from me and the diner as much as possible.

_Keep running man... You can't let them catch up_

I'm not even sure if they're following me, but I'm trying to motivate myself to keep on running and not look back. I guess the only way I'll get away from them for good is if I leave the islands.

_There"s nothing left for me here anyway..._

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Leaving Destiny Islands has proved to be a little more impossible than I thought.

When you're pissed off and just looking to get away from a place, you don't exactly think everything through, and that's exactly what your boy here didn't do. I completely forgot that to actually go anywhere... I need Munny.

I thought about getting a job, or to at least try helping someone do something in exchange for Munny. People aren't stupid though, they see a guy that smells like death and wearing the dirtiest clothes ever known to man and they won't risk getting close. If I hadn't been in such a rush to leave, I might not have ended up leaving my book-bag behind when I was trying to get away from them, and I would actually have clothes at the moment.

It's been a few days since my encounter with Kairi and Namine. Running into them triggering memories I really wish would not have resurfaced, one being the words I said to my brother the night I left:

_"Shut up Ven, I'm done arguing. I'm sick of you and Sora treating me like a kid.. and I sure as hell am sick of you guys always blaming me when things go bad."_

I never thought I'd ever regret saying those words, but here I am... walking along the side of a road with literally no Idea where to go. No food, money or clothes. I, Roxas Hikari, am the biggest dumbass ever known. I've traveled as fast as I can, taking breaks here and there before I keep going. The islands aren't really that big, so finding somewhere where no one will find me is going to be pretty much impossible.

To make things worse, I've got Namine's apology also constantly replaying in my head. It was definitely sincere, and I know she probably still feels guilty about everything. It's been a few months since I found out she cheated on me with my brother, and because this is how our relationship ended... It's not something I can really forgive easily, ya know? No matter how much I want to move on... it's just really hard to act like nothing happened. Now mind you, there's definitely no possibility of us getting back together ( Her and my brother seem to have a pretty solid relationship) and I definitely don't want to be reminded of everything that was wrong with our relationship. But there's something about her voice though that always makes me fall for her over and over again. Seeing her looking upset over everything really got to me this time, and hearing it in her voice how much she regretted hurting me... It hit me. But it's just so hard to go back to how things were...to being friends again. I feel bad, but I know I'm not ready to forgive her just yet.

To be honest, it sucks. It really sucks.

I hate that no matter what she does, she still has some form of control over me. whether she realizes it or still has so much of a pull on my emotions... and I fucking hate it. All this thinking is taking a lot of energy out of me though. I should probably try and get a little bit of rest, especially since it's been so hectic lately.

I sit down on a bench near a park I've never seen before, close my eyes, and breathe in the fresh air. Before I know it I end up falling asleep, the memories of what happened with Namine and I replay in my head.

* * *

**_Three Months earlier_ **

_"Yo Roxas! Get up! You've got your special anniversary date today, right? "Knowing who it was already I try to ignore him and continue sleeping._

_"Roxas?"_

_"Leave me alone Sora," I say, pulling one of my pillows on top of my head to block out any sound or light._

_"Bu-"_

_"Let me sleeeeeeep"_

_"ah alright then... I guess you don't need to call Namine back then'"_

_"Wait she called?!" I ask, quickly lifting my head and turning to look at Sora._

_"Yeah she called you a few times man, I picked up the last one. Said she's been trying to get a hold of you but you haven't been answering"_

_"I wonder wh-SHIT! I was supposed to take her to breakfast this morning,"I say as I jump from my bed, quickly gathering everything I need to get ready._

_"Woooow and I thought I was the forgetful one,"_

_"Oh har har hardy har har. Very funny. Now if you excuse me, I'm running late for possibly one of the most important days of my life,"_

_"Wait, are you gonna like... propose to her or something?! YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED BEFORE I DO. THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT," Sora practically yells, freaking out for god knows what._

_"What?! Who said anything about marriage? It's Namine and I's 1 year anniversary together,"I say, raising an eyebrow._

_"Ohhhhhhhhh, that's what you meant by the most important- ah nevermind, nevermind,"_

_"Idiot,"_ _I say as I'm running to my dresser, pulling out shorts and a shirt. I get dressed and spray some cologne on before I turn to Sora for approval, he nods before tossing my car keys at me. After a quick trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my hair, I dash down the stairs, but right as I'm about to open the door, I feel a tap on my shoulders._

_"For crying out loud..what now?" I say, annoyed._

_"I may be an idiot. but at least I didn't leave my phone behind. Here, oh and it looks like Nami texted you too," Sora tells me before handing the phone to me. I unlock it before opening the messaging and reading it._

_Text from Nami: Received at 10:15 am_

_Hey Roxas, I just wanted to tell you that I can't go out with you today. I know it's our one year anniversary, but I've got so many errands to run today with my mom and she really needs my help. I'm really Sorry.. this came up last minute! I'll make it up to you, I promise. Love you babe :3_

_I read the message a few times over just to make sure I understand it fully. Her mom needs her.. that's understandable: Family first. I'd be the same way if any of my brothers needed me._

* * *

__**To Nami:** _ _

__**It's Okay Namiii,** _ _ __**You and your mom deserve some time together. Love you too, call me when you get done ok?** _ _

__***message sent!*** _ _

* * *

_"What'd she say?" Sora asks as I send the message and force my phone into my pocket._

_"Nothing," I say, my voice shifting its pitch._

_"You know I can tell when you're lying right?"_

_" I'm not lying! I swear!" I try to be as convincing as possible with my answer...but instead of asking me again, Sora steals my phone from my pocket, unlocks it and reads Namine's message._

_"Awwww You're so sweet  Lil Rox. I'm sorry she canceled on you though,  at least she's gonna make it up to you.  I bet you guys are going to have the time of your life the next time you do see her," Sora says and starts grinning._ It _takes me a little bit to figure out what he means but then it clicks._

_"SORA! you perv!," I yell, punching him in the arm._

_"What?! I can't help it! "_

_"Yeah, yeah... whatever. I don't appreciate you having those kinds of thoughts about me and Namine_ _. But Anyway,_ Y ou _and Kairi can have those concert tickets I bought. I think I'm just gonna go for a walk on the beach or something.." I say, looking away from Sora to grab a bowl and cereal from one of our cabinets._

_"Are you sure bro? Nami could end up finishing her errands early and you guys might be able to have your anniversary date after all,"_

_" Yeah for sure! Take them. I'm probably just going to head down to the beach and take a walk or something. I appreciate you having hope for me, but I'd rather she spend time with her mom anyway... They haven't seen each other much lately."_

_"Ahhh, I see...But hey, everything's gonna go great and you and Nami are gonna have the best make_ up date _ever. Thanks again little bro! I'll see you later on tonight. If you're still awake maybe we can have a bro night? I know it's been a little while since we've actually hung out with each other,"_

_I hug him back before saying " Just have fun for me okay? and yeah for sure! I  should be awake when you get back. just let me know when you're on your way. Have you seen Ven by the way? I thought he was here but I guess not,"_

_"He must have left earlier this morning then...Anyway! I'll see you tonight! Thanks again man!" Sora says as he waves goodbye to me quickly before grabbing his keys and walking out the door._

* * *

_**~ Several Hours Later~** _

_I'm sitting on the sand at the beach, my guitar lying beside me as I'm watching the sunset and listening to the sound of the waves. It's peaceful, not gonna lie. I haven't really done anything like this in a while, and it feels really good to be here just enjoying everything and spending time by myself. I'm enjoying just observing everything, but my observing gets interrupted when I hear my phone ringing._

_"Wonder who that is," I say as I reach into my back pocket to pull my phone out._

_"Oh.. it's Nami. Maybe she wants to do a dinner date. "I say to myself before picking up my phone_

_"Hello?...Helllloooooo? Namiiii? You there?"_

_There's no answer, only the sound of buttons being pushed and moaning._

_Wait... Moaning?_

"Mmmmm,"

_"Uhhh Nami? Are you okay? Hello?! Answer me!" I say into the phone, panicking slightly._

_"Mmmm Ven,"_

_I feel my heart drop as soon as I hear whose name she moans, and suddenly it becomes hard to breathe._

_"Ughh... Damn. Yesss!"_

_Has she really not noticed that her phone called someone?_

_" Nami that's really hot... "_

_Nami._

_Nami_

_When the hell did they get this close? They hardly looked at each other whenever the rest of us hung out. Hell, they barely spoke. HE'S IN COLLEGE!_

_I feel my head start to spin and my throat closing up. I'm finding it harder and harder to breathe, and my chest starts to ache. How could she do this to me?_

_Sick_

_Annoyed_

_Betrayed_

_Depressed_

_These are just some of the things I'm currently feeling, but betrayed definitely tops most of them. Before I know it_ _I'm screaming into the phone._

_"ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME... MY OLDER FUCKING BROTHER?! !"_

" _Hm ? what was that?" Namine says on the other line, very out of breath. She pulls the phone out from under her and looks at the screen before a look of utter shock appears on her face.  
_

_"Shit... Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Omigod I think I accidentally called Roxas,"_

_"YOU WHAT?!"_

_"I'M SORRY. I guess his message was still open when I put my phone in my pocket," Namine says, her voice revealing she's on the verge of tears._

_I can here Ven getting up from the Bed and cursing worse than I ever have in my entire life. I take a deep breath and try to keep myself calm, this hurts so bad but I don't want her to know. It sounds stupid I know, but I also don't like to show my weakness to anyone.  
_

_"Roxas?!Oh my god. Roxas, Are you there?!" She asks, panicking._

_"I'm here Namine"_

_"I-"_

_"I hope you and your mom had a really great day Nami,"I say, letting out a deep sigh. The fight in me is pretty much gone, I feel all of my energy leave my body. My voice becoming more of a soft whisper._

_"Wait! Roxas... please don't hang up! I'm so sorry. I-I don't know what came over me. Please... Just please listen. I'll come over now! We can talk about this! Ju-"_

_I let out a dark chuckle before speaking back into the phone._

_"No, no it's ok. Continue with what you were doing Nami, don't worry about it. I'm not home anyway... Happy Anniversary by the way," I say, cutting Namine off mid-sentence._

_"Rox-"_

_Before she can finish her sentence I hang up the phone. Running a hand through my hair in frustration, I look at my phone in my hand, and without even thinking twice about it I_   _throw it_ _into the water._ _I can feel the heat radiating off of my face as tears threaten their way from my eyes, anger lighting my body on fire. I let out a loud scream before kicking the sand and dropping to my knees. Tears spilling out of my eyes as I gaze at the sand under an almost night sky. My chest feels heavy and all I can do is kneel there and cry. I attempt to take deep breaths in and stand up, before grabbing my guitar and heading to a place where I know I can forget everything: Demyx's Apartment._

_I walk over to his apartment, which is actually a few blocks down from my favorite spot at the beach, and push the buzzer for his apartment number._

_"Hey, Bro. It's me, Roxas. I'm sorry I came by without letting you know. Mind if I come up?"I say into the intercom._

_"_ _Ayeee_ _Roxy!_ yeah _man come on up!" he says_

_The door unlocks and I walk up to his apartment and knock on the door. As soon as he opens it, his smile drops and he looks concerned._

_"Alright what's_ _wrong?" he asks_

 _"_ _Nothing, why?" Putting on my best poker face, I try to hide all of the emotions currently brewing inside me._

_"You know you can't lie to me. I might be an idiot, but I can read people with no problem. What happened man?"_

"Don't really wanna talk about it _. Can you_  Roll me a blunt though _?_ _I kinda just need to relax right now,_ _"_

 _"Yeah.. sure," he says before leading me over to his living room and starts preparing one for me. The whole time he takes small glances at me, his eyes had this curiosity in them and I know he really wants to ask me more questions... but he knows that when I'm ready to talk I will. After he finishes rolling it, he pulls out a lighter from his jeans pocket and lights it. He takes a puff before handing it over to me and I take a puff as well._ _We smoke for a little while, then Demyx gets up and grabs our beers._

_"How are you feeling man?"_

_"Great bro, never better," I say as I take another hit of the blunt and a swig of beer._ _I'm starting to feel a little high and drunk. I don't even know how I'm able to form complete sentences or keep up a full conversation without slurring any of my words. I guess it's a skill I've managed to develop over time._

_Demyx leans back on the old, peeling leather recliner he has in the corner of his living room area and closes his eyes. He hums along to the music we've got blasting on the stereo, and I can't help but start laughing. I'm laughing so hard tears start coming out of my eyes, Laughing at what you ask? Shit... I can't even tell you that. My mind is beyond this earth right now and my focus is on having a good time. No worries. No Questions. No drama. Only weed, alcohol, and my best friend sitting right beside me listening to god knows what on the stereo._

_I look over at Demyx and he stares right back at me, eyes partially closed and red._

_"You sure you're ok?"_

_"I'm alright, I promise you when I'm ready to talk you'll be the first to know... but hey, I think your phone is ringing," I tell him, pointing at the glowing screen sitting on his coffee table._

_He nods and places the rest of his blunt onto an ashtray before grabbing his phone and answering it._

Yeah, he's here. We're just smoking and drinking a little bit. Why what's _up?..._ _Oh, s_ _hit really?..." I try to make out the rest of the conversation, but the rest gets drowned out by the bass of the stereo._

_"Hey Dem, who're you talking to?" I ask, suspicion obvious through the tone of my voice. I narrow my eyes at him and he starts getting nervous._

_"It's my buddy Axel, he wanted to know if you were with me._ Wait _, how do you know Roxas?" Demyx asks the person on the phone._

" _Ahhhh alright, that makes sense... yeah well he's ok man. He's here with me, but don't tell them that_ _he's here. okay?_ _Yeah,_ _I think he just needs some time away from there right now_ _...thanks, bro."_ _Demyx says before he hangs up his phone and tosses it on the couch._

" _Your bro_ _thers_ _asked him to call me and find out where you were, I told him you were with me but to tell them that you weren't,"_

" _See, this is why we're best friends. Thanks."_

" _No problem man," he says before turning over to me, giving me the most dazed look I've ever seen and walks over to me._

 _"_ _Whenever you do want to talk about what happened. I'm here to listen," he says, his eyes showing his sincerity (and also how high he is)_

_"Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Ahh, why couldn't we be brothers instead,"_

_"Haha. I guess fate had other plans,"_

_"Yeah, I guess. Hey Dem, are you okay? why are you looking at me like that?"I ask, trying to get a feel for what he's doing by looking him up and down._

_"I uh... There's actually something I wanted to tell you. It's probably shitty timing since we're both not sober and you're going through some stuff... Ah fuck it,"_

_"Wait, Demyx. Wha-_ " Before I can finish my sentence, Demyx leans over me and I feel his lips crash onto mine _._

_Now I don't mind kissing guys (I'm bisexual) but I do mind when I'm not asked if it's okay, and when the kiss tastes like alcohol. I also don't like being caught off guard either, and because I wasn't expecting this kiss... I end up pulling us both down onto his floor and hitting my head against it._

_"_ _Agh,"I say as I push Demyx off of me and rub the back of my head_

_"Oh my god Roxas are you okay?" he asks, panic lacing his words._

_"Yeah, yeah I'm fine... but... are you? What made you think it was okay to kiss me?! I didn't say yes! Aghhh What the fuck dude, My head hurts so bad," I say as I continue to rub the back of my head, hoping that will make it feel better._

_"I...I'm really sorry. I don't know why...I just...I've always kinda thought you were cute? and well...Nevermind. I'm sorry, I took advantage of the situation."_

_"No, it's fine. Warn me next time you wanna try shit like that though. My head is freakin' killing me now,"_

_"Let me get you some ice, maybe that'll help," He says, but before I can refuse he's already out of the room._

_I can feel eyes starting to get heavy, the alcohol and weed in my system making me sleepy. I find it harder and harder to stay awake, the music sounding further and further away, and by the time Demyx comes back with the ice I've already fallen asleep._

_Man am I gonna have the nastiest hangover ever when I wake up._


	5. Chapter 5

Usually, when you've just had the best date ever with your girlfriend, you get home super happy and smiling. But when I pulled into our driveway and saw that our front door was literally wide open, all happiness left my body and was replaced with panic. Without even shutting my car off, I take my seatbelt off and rush out of the car and into our house.

_Okay, nothing's been stolen. Good._

_Where's Roxas though?_

I close the door behind me before I call out for my brother.

"Roxas?"

-silence-

"Roxas? Bro! You here?"

-still no answer-

_"_ _Roxas? Come on man this isn't funny,"I say with worry creeping into the tone of my voice. I hear the door open up behind me, and for a minute I can feel my worry start to melt away... until I realize the person who walked in wasn't who I was hoping it would be._

_"Oh, hey Ven," I say, slightly disappointed._

_"Wow, don't act so happy to see me," he says before rolling his eyes. "Where's Roxas?"_

_"Dunno. That's why I reacted like I did. I thought you were him. He was here before I left, I know he said he was going to take a walk on the beach or something today since Namine canceled their Anniversary date,"_

_"Wait... their what?"_

_"Anniversary date?" I say, giving Ven a look of confusion. Why is he so shocked about that?_

_"Oh."_

_"Oh? Is something wrong?"_

_"Wha-? No! Nothing!" Ven says nervously._

_"Spill it. I can tell you're lying,"I say before crossing my arms and raising an eyebrow at him. After a rather awkward staring contest, he finally caves and tells me everything that happened. The anger from what he tells me heats my body up and it doesn't take long for me, the usually happy go lucky guy, to snap._

"What the hell were you thinking Ven?!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

"..."

"Don't give me that look. I'm not gonna feel sorry for you," I say before taking a sip of the hot chocolate I had decided to make. It's the only thing that relaxes me okay? Don't judge.

"I don't know Sora! I don't, I really don't. It just kind of happened," he says, eyes slightly red as if he was crying recently.

"Shit like this doesn't just happen. For Kingdom Hearts sake Ven! She was his girlfriend! And you did the dirty with her ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY. You don't just sleep with your younger brother's girlfriend, that's just not a thing. Something tells me that you guys have been doing more than just sleeping together though, so spill it. How long has this been going on? And are you guys only sleeping together or is this like... an actual relationship too?" I say with my arms crossed, waiting for the answer I know I won't want to hear.

"We've uhm... we-"

"Today would be nice... we kinda need to look for our youngest brother too dude. Hurry up and get this out so I can kick your ass and we can go look for Roxas,"I say before rolling my eyes and taking another sip of hot chocolate.

"Alright alright.. damn.. Okay so... Namine and I have actually been dating each ot- Why are you giving me that look?! Hey wait, WAIT!"

"..."

"YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH NAMINE FOR A COUPLE MONTHS NOW AND FREAKING DATING HER? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME VENTUS?!" I yell as I put my cup back on the counter and glare at him. He looks down at his feet and I can literally feel both the awkward and the guilt in the air. He puts his hand over his face and sobs lightly while shaking his head. I give him a stern look before taking a deep breath in and continuing my lecturing.

"Damn it Ven, that's our little brother. Why would you do that to him? He's literally been so happy with Namine, and he was super excited to take her out for their anniversary. Now, this shit happens and guess what? Roxas is fucking gone now. He's not answering his phone, and I'm pretty sure he's not gonna want anything to do with you. You know you guys already have a shitty relationship with each other already... and now you've just made it worse. He ran away because you decided it was ok for you to take what wasn't yours. What the hell is wrong with you? Did you even try to fix this with him?! Do you care about him at all?! "

"I didn't get a chance to talk to him...I wanted to talk about this whole situation but he wasn't answering his phone" Ven says, hands shaking and an expression of utter guilt on his face. At this point, I start to sort of feel bad for him, but I know he'll manipulate my sympathy so that it benefits him so I try to hide any sympathy.

" You realize you're the worst older brother ever right? Like... I'm not any better right now because I don't know where he is, and maybe I shouldn't have gone to that concert. But you...You really fucked up man..." I say, my words hanging in the air before my thoughts become more focused on where my baby brother could be.

"I understand Sora, it's ju-"

"That's it!" I practically yell, scaring the crap out of Ven (Which was actually pretty damn funny) and cutting him off mid sentence. He looks at me with a confused expression on his face, but he doesn't question me for my sudden outburst.

" Wanna tell me what that was about?" Ven asks, turning away from the door and looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh! right... I'm gonna give Axel a call and see if he knows where dear Roxy went!" I say

"Does they even know each other?"

" Err.. no...but they know some of the same people. Axel knows Demyx, and Demyx is one of Roxas' best friends. Maybe he can give him a call and find out where Roxy's at,"

" Ahh, now I understand... well give him a call."

"Excuse you. You don't get to tell me what to do."

"Shut up and call him already,"

"I will! But just know...You're a useless sack of potatoes, and a shitty older brother," I say before pulling out my phone from the pocket of my jeans and calling Axel. It goes straight to voice mail three friggin times! But by the fourth call, he answers the phone.

"Yoooooooooo, what's up?"Axel says, his voice sounding very much sleep deprived.

" Hey, Axel! I got a quick question for you"

"This late? Is it really that important?" He asks

"Uh.. yeah. Think you can do me a favor and give Demyx a call? Our brother Roxas isn't home and we're getting kinda worried," I say as calmly as I can, even though on the inside I'm panicking.

" Err... Yeah sure. Wait why don't you guys call him?"

"I would but it's kind of a complicated situation, and I don't have his number. Just... please? Can you do this for us? I can explain another day." I plead

"Alright. I'll give it a try. If he tells me anything I'll let you guys know,"

"Thanks, man," I say before we both say goodbye to each other and hang up the phone.

"What'd he say?" Ven asks.

"He's going to give him a call and let us know if he finds anything out. I guess for now we just wait," I say before taking a seat on one of our couches. Ven sits on the recliner across from me, and we both sit in silence, waiting for any news on Roxas.

__Where the hell did you go?_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Leave any feedback you can! I'd love to see what I could improve on and just to hear what you guys thought! Thank you for reading!


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